It’s time that I started sharing my plans with you. You may, or may not, have seen on my social media sites that I am getting restless, and extremely excited for something that happens to have something to do with the month of May. I have refrained from sharing with just about everyone (until recently), what my mind has been circling since my last trip home to Washington, in July of 2016. It’s big, and there are moments when I feel a little scared, but as time creeps closer to my personal set deadline, I feel more and more confident and excited. I have a month and a half to go now, and the choice feels easier and easier the closer we get to May.
So here we go.. For the last seven and a half months I have been thinking about going home to Washington, and this time, staying. That’s right, I want to move. I want to pack up all my belongings (what I decide to keep at least), load them into my car, and finally just go.
THIS DOES NOT MEAN ANYTHING BAD AGAINST SOUTH DAKOTA. Nor does it mean that I never plan on coming back to visit. (In fact, I already have a plan to come back in October, and I’m not even 100% sure I’ve made up my mind on going yet.) I grew up here, I love South Dakota, and that will never change. It’s just simply not the right place for me. I am a South Dakota girl, but I don’t have a South Dakota heart, if that makes sense. Plus, I would never survive without seeing my family and friends here.
SO MY REASONS ARE:
1. It’s something that I have always wanted. I look at a lease to have my own place, and I can’t bring myself to sign it because of the commitment to the length of time I would have to stay here. I look at colleges and degrees that I would like to pursue, but I don’t because I don’t want to be here that long. There’s one common part here, I won’t feel comfortable moving forward with my life, until I make it to where I want to be. My dream of living in Washington has never disappeared, and I am tired of wondering what my life would look like if I were there. I want to know. I need to do something for me.
2. Room for growth. I just feel as though I have done everything I can here, and now I am stuck. I feel trapped, which in return has made me unhappy. But I have found excitement in all the possibilities I feel I could find in such a bigger, and more diverse place.
I just need to get out of here. I need something new, and all the little adventures just arn’t enough anymore. All my life I have known exactly where I wanted to be, but never gone after it for myself because I was too busy making excuses to stay where I am for others. I’m tired of making excuses. In July I will be 23 years old. When I was a little girl, I wanted to be settled down, married, and expecting a baby at 23. (Obviously I didn’t realize how young 23 still is.) I’m not even remotely interested in marriage, or any of that yet, but I would like to start making the steps to settling down, at least somewhat.
I feel I have already made up my mind that I am going. I’m just scared to admit that because it means that I’ll have to break a heart, and face an insane amount of change. The change scares me a little, but also excites me. In the end change is exactly what I’m looking for.